Oh, what a time to be alive! In the midst of a global pandemic, some eagle-eyed researchers noticed that people recovering from COVID-19 might be saying “What?” and “Huh?” a bit more often than before. Naturally, the next step was to ask the all-important question: Is the ‘Rona causing our ears to go on the fritz?

Enter the heroes of our story, armed with the biggest genome-wide association study data Europe has ever seen, and a burning desire to replicate their findings in the East Asian population. They rolled up their sleeves and dove headfirst into the thrilling world of Mendelian randomization analysis. I mean, who needs Netflix when you’ve got Cochran’s Q test and MR-Egger intercept test to keep you on the edge of your seat, right?

After what I can only assume were countless hours of statistical wizardry and several cups of coffee, the results were in. Drumroll, please… COVID-19 does not cause hearing loss! At least, not genetically. That’s right, folks. The odds ratios were dancing around the number one like they were at a statistical hoedown, showing no causal relationship whatsoever. And just to be sure, they checked for pleiotropy and heterogeneity, which, spoiler alert, were nowhere to be found.

In conclusion, the researchers delivered the mic-drop moment: those previous observational studies that had us all worried about our hearing? Probably just a bunch of confounding factors throwing a party. But don’t worry, they’re not done yet. They’ve called for more research because, as we all know, the sequel is always better. Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Corona Turns.”