Oh, what a groundbreaking revelation we have here! It turns out that sleep, that thing we’ve been doing since, oh, the dawn of humanity, might just be a tad important for those mysterious creatures known as teenagers. Who would’ve thought, right? In a stunning display of academic sleuthing that Sherlock Holmes would envy, researchers have bravely scoured ten whole databases up until December 2022 to tell us that if adolescents sleep poorly, they might—hold your gasps—gain weight.

So, they’ve herded together 89 studies to state the obvious: if you go to bed late, sleep like a party animal with inconsistent hours, and have a sleep quality that rivals a rock concert’s ambiance, you might just find yourself on the chubbier side. And let’s not forget the ‘pre-sleep’ shenanigans—like staring into the soul-sucking screens or tossing and turning with the grace of a caffeinated squirrel—that are apparently not the best bedtime rituals for a svelte figure.

But wait, there’s more! The relationship between how well you sleep and your body’s resemblance to a marshmallow is, drumroll please… mixed. Yes, after all that research, it’s still as clear as mud. Nonetheless, the brilliant conclusion is that if teens could just sleep like textbook angels and maybe not live like nocturnal owls, they could potentially dodge obesity. So, let’s all adjust our schedules, fluff our pillows, and march towards that utopian dreamland where every teen is the picture of health. Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs—or the sarcasm—bite!