Oh, gather ’round, folks, for a tale of a super rare gastric party crasher known as the Oxyntic gland neoplasm (OGN). Our intrepid researchers, armed with nothing but their wits and a retrospective state of mind, embarked on a noble quest to count these elusive creatures within the gastric wilds of their hospital from November 1, 2019, to May 1, 2023.

Lo and behold, they found 36 brave souls who harbored 45 of these rare beasts, making up a whopping 0.047% of the gastric population (36 out of 76,832). The average age of the hosts was a sprightly 55 years, with a nearly balanced gender ratio that would make any social event jealous.

These OGNs were quite the homebodies, preferring the upper third of the stomach as their abode, and were mostly petite, with 84.4% being ≤10 mm in size. They fancied a slight elevation with a whitish hue and just adored having dilated blood vessels on their surface.

Now, for the pièce de résistance: the battle of the endoscopic treatments. In one corner, we had the precutting endoscopic mucosal resection (EMR-P), and in the other, the endoscopic submucosal dissection (ESD). It was a nail-biter, folks, with both techniques throwing down a 100% en bloc resection rate. But wait, EMR-P pulled a sneaky with a 100% complete resection rate, while ESD lagged just a smidge at 90.5%. Yet, statistically, they were declared equally matched gladiators in the arena of curative resection.

And would you believe it? Not a single complication arose. No bleeding, no perforation, nothing. It was as if these OGNs simply waved a white flag and surrendered. Follow-up tales spoke of no recurrence or metastasis, painting a picture of a rather rosy prognosis.

In the end, our heroes concluded that OGN is indeed a rare and unique beastie, but fear not, for EMR-P and ESD are the trusty swords to slay this dragon, with EMR-P possibly being the quicker draw of the two. So, let’s raise our endoscopes in salute to the brave patients and their even braver doctors in this epic saga of gastric valor! 🥂