Oh, the joys of spinal cord injury research, where we get to explore the glamorous world of rat bowel movements. In a groundbreaking effort to understand how to make rats poop more like their uninjured friends, scientists have put these little guys on treadmills. Yes, you read that right—rats on treadmills, because nothing says “cutting-edge science” like giving rodents a gym membership.

So, we’ve got six groups of male rats, because who cares about female rats, right? They’re just chilling, some injured, some not, and some getting their daily dose of treadmill time. It’s like a rat version of ‘Couch to 5K’, except it’s more ‘Couch to Can I Please Control My Bowels Again?’

These furry athletes were put through the wringer for eight whole weeks, with scientists eagerly weighing their poop and checking out their anal sphincter action—because that’s what serious researchers do. And lo and behold, the rats that got their steps in showed some real improvements. They pooped with more gusto, and their sphincters were more on point. Who knew?

But here’s the kicker: the rats that only hit the treadmill now and then did just as well as the full-time gym rats. It’s like finding out that guy who only shows up to the gym once a week is just as fit as the dude who’s there every day. Annoying, right?

Anyway, the moral of the story is that if you’re a rat with a spinal cord injury, you might want to consider a treadmill. And for the rest of us, we get to bask in the knowledge that science is on the case, making sure even our rodent friends can take a decent dump. Progress!